Forgotten
by Athese
Summary: After months of torture Mikey is finally back with his family. But he has no idea who he is or who those strange creatures that look like him are... I do not own them.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own them **

It has been five months. Five months with the Shredder. Constant torture. Barely fed, barely given anything to drink. Always in the same room. The same dark room. Always the same cold room. Chained against the walls. Always drifting off into an uncomfortable sleep. His arms still above his head, chained.

Eventually they even had to replace the chains because his wrists were too swollen from all the struggling. That was the first time in 3 months they'd taken the chains off and Mikey saw them again. His arms were sore. So extremely sore. 3 months they'd been above his head and his wrists were swollen like Shredder insisted.

They were bleeding heavily and throbbing badly. For the first time in 3 months any of his injuries were threated. They were engulfed with ice cold water and then wrapped. That was the only thing that was done before he was chained again, above his head.

For the first time in 3 months Shredder didn't beat him that day. For which he was thankful. His whole face was bruised, so was his body. Many bones were broken and he was bleeding heavily. The only time he saw anyone that day was when he was fed. He was barely fed, like once in 2 or 3 days. Even when they fed him his chains weren't released.

They were simply lowered. With his hands still above his head he was practically pushed into the plate of food. Forced to eat like an animal. After that the chains were brought in place again and he'd never see anyone for the rest of the day. Until Shredder came back for his beating again.

He tried to imagine them countless times. He forced himself to remember. He thought about them every time. About Leo, Donnie, Raph and his father. About April and Casey. Every tiny detail of them. Leo's smell, Donnie's gab between his teeth, Raph's crack and his father's fur. April's hair and Casey's hockey skills. But he couldn't. How hard he tried he couldn't.

Slowly it faded. After months passed. Memories slowly faded away. He lost the memory of Casey's voice, April's smell. Leo's room, Raph's pet turtle, Splinter's touch, Donnie's name.

Everything faded in time. It was already after a month he forgot the names. How hard he tried he couldn't remember them. He lost track of time. He forgot their home. He forgot the memories. The happy memories they shared. He forgot all the happy times. He forgot about his brothers, his friends, his friends, his family.

Days passed, flashes of memories still flashed through his mind. His belt, knee pads, chucks and his mask had been taken long ago. The only memory he had to recall his previous life. But after they'd been taken he lost it. The memories he still had, when he heard his belt moving around his plastron, the soft touch of his mask. The feeling of his knee pad. They made him remember them slightly.

He recalled a sewer, A rat. Robots. But after that was taken all those slight memories faded. Faded only nothing remained. He lost everything. His freedom, his innocence. His gear and his memory. His family. He couldn't remember, how hard he tried. And after 4 and a half months he totally forgot about them. Didn't even remember he missed something.

Although he still felt hollow inside, empty.

They watched him, they'd watched him for 3 days now. Their baby brother finally home. Under the blanket was his broken body. Broken bones, arms, legs, ribs. Almost everything was broken or already healed. Bruises and cuts covered the free spaces on his body.

When they found him his face was so beaten and bleeding that it was almost unable to recognize. They brought him home immediately after. Their baby brother was finally home. After 5 months with the Shredder. Being tortured and beaten for answers. And from the fact the foot hadn't infiltrated their lair yet he didn't gave them.

He didn't say anything through the beating. When he snapped his bones, when he hit him in his face, chest, shoulder, legs. Nothing. He didn't answer them.

They treated the wounds the best they could and after 3 days his swollen and bruised face decreased. His swollen face was gone and what was left was some heavy bruises. But he didn't wake, yet. The only time they'd seen his baby blue eyes was when they freed him. Although he wasn't aware of their presence. Just waiting for his next beating. His head low and just staring down.

He didn't even react to their voices, he didn't know them anymore. He didn't know who they were, who he was. He forgot. He forgot the memories. He passed out when his arms were lowered. They carried him home and treated him. And they waited. Waited for him to wake up. But he didn't, not for 3 days.

**~TBC~ **


	2. Chapter 2

It has been 3 days since they brought him home. More dead than alive. Fresh and old bruises covering his body. Some cuts were already healed and went along with the scars that the Shredder had already inflicted on his body. Bones were broken and one actually had to be broken because it had been healed in the wrong way.

The red banded turtle stared at the life-less form of his little brother. He just couldn't believe how must he'd missed him in the last 5 months. Without him everything just fell apart. He fought more with his leader, more pointless arguments. Donnie barely left his lab anymore and Splinter would occasionally find the purple clad turtle sleeping over his desk.

His face pressed onto his microscope. Or on his papers. It was until Mikey was kidnapped they saw how much they needed him. He was their glue. The light of the family. At home everything shattered. And it even influenced their fighting. They lost to the purple dragons, to the foot bots. And nearly escaped with their lives against the Shredder.

Of course Leo would blame him for that, but for once he was right. Blinded with rage because he took their baby brother and even dared to show his face. Behind his mask, but still. Raph had accused him from 'stealing his act' but for once Leo didn't respond and went into the dojo to meditate. But just like every time he couldn't contact his little brother.

They never could. Shredder's old lair was abounded. Directly after Mikey was taken they moved, to different locations. If the brothers finally got a lead on him, he'd move again. Or it was a location without Mikey.

This went on for 5 months, they literally didn't skip one night without searching for their little brother. Splinter forbid them but they ignored the commands. For the first time in their whole life they ignored the orders of their father, their sensei. He didn't want them to get hurt, not after he'd lost his youngest son.

He didn't want to believe it, he really didn't want it but he couldn't sense his light anymore. He couldn't reach for his youngest son. The one with the brightest spirit he could even sense when he was on the other side of the city. A spirit full of innocence and joy. But after a few days of trying to reach him he felt the light slowly fading.

His spirit was weakening. He felt it. And after the first week, the light completely disappeared.

Raph slowly squeezed his eyes as he let a single tear fall down. It wasn't right to see their youngest like this. His skin bruised and battered. Cuts and broken bones. Burn marks on his feet and legs. Everything was messed up and Shredder was going to pay! Raph smirked lightly at the memory of when they fled with Mikey.

If it wasn't for Rahzar he would've killed shredder then and there. He could still see one of his sais sticking out of his exposed shoulder. Well maybe he couldn't kill him, he was still better but at least he accomplished to hurt him. And if it wasn't for the life-less body in Donnie's arms he would've never agreed to flee with a smoke bomb.

"Splinter just called, he'll be staying until tomorrow and then he'll be home" Donnie said as he walked in and rested his hand on Raph's shoulder and squeezed it slightly. He'd never seen Raph like this. Truly exhausted and broken. Crying without trying to stop it. Clutched to Mikey's side.

He know Raph and Mikey had always shared a strong bound. Just like himself. But he never thought this good. Well he always knew it was this good but he never thought it would actually turn Raph into a sobbing mess who never argued anymore or even touched his sais. Never snapped at anyone. Just slept and stared.

"And fearless'?" He slowly whispered. Sobbing in the process. His eyes still focused on the sleeping turtle in front of him.

"Still meditating what did you expect?" Donnie chuckled lightly.

"Figures" Raph grumbled and continued to stare. Still holding onto the life-less hand. Feeling the pulse indicating he was still alive. It was weak when he was brought in, very weak but over the course of 3 days it grew strong.

"He'll wake up in time" Donnie tried once again. It wasn't good for Raph to be in here all the time. He barely ate and drank. Barely spoke and refused to train. And somehow Donnie recognized his own actions in it. He'd acted like this for 5 months. Until Mikey was home. He talked slightly more and began to eat and drink normal again. He even joined Leo's training session's one time. The only time they fought with the 3 of them in 5 months. Until Raph kept himself locked in the lab.

"I know tha' Donnie. I just…. He… it isn't righ' Don. Seein' him like tha" Raph argued and let another tear slip past his eyes.

Donnie sighed. "I know Raph, I hate seeing him like this either but he's strong. He'll pull through" Donnie assured him and went over to Mikey and carefully removed his blanket. The burns on his feet were severe and needed to be treated twice a day. He slowly lowered an ice-pack on one of his feet and did the same on the other one.

Raph kept glancing and yawned tiredly. He was exhausted. Donnie knew it. It was already getting late and Raph woke up early in the night and decided to watch over Mikey again.

"You should get some sleep Raph, you're exhausted." Donnie pointed out as he checked the list of injuries, planning to check them all. The large stab wound in his left shoulder still concerned him and they had to be careful otherwise it could get infected.

"I'm not. Just… leave me" He mumbled and for the first time he dared to take his eyes of his little brother and looked into Donnie's brown eyes and turned back to the ground. "When do you think he'll wake up Don?" He asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't know Raph, his vitals and pulse improved greatly so he could wake up any minute but it could also take another week. It depends on how his body reacts to it" Donnie explained and carefully disinfected the stab wound and continued to do so until he cleaned all the cuts on his body.

"If I'm eva gonna catch him he's death" Raph growled and turned his hands into fists. This was the first time in 3 days Raph actually growled or got angry. And somehow Donnie was relieved. He actually hated seeing Raph like this. So, not him. How much he wished for him to shut up once in a while. To cool off. Not to rush in, stop cursing and snapping at everyone. How much he'd wished for that in the last 15 years, He hated seeing he actually did.

"Right now we have to focus on Mikey" Donnie sighed and turned towards Mikey to rewrap his broken wrist. Donnie gasped when he saw what happened. Just before he picked up Mikey's wrist his fingers twitched slightly. Mikey was waking up! Donnie opened his mouth to tell but before he could Mikey finally opened his eyes.

Mikey was awake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 :D**

**i do not own TMNT.**

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Mikey's head was pounding. But it was less than he expected, or could remember. His shoulders were aching, hurting at the sudden comfortable position. They weren't chained above his head anymore. He could feel them next to his body. Although it was uncomfortable it felt nice. His body felt numb, everything was aching but he somehow felt fine. Better than he could remember.

He wasn't chained anymore, instead he felt himself laying on something soft and comfortable. The cold floor he was on as much as he could remember was replaced by a warm room. Testing his luck he twitched his finger slightly but after that he suddenly felt a hand wrap around his wrist and it was lifted. He immediately tensed. Memories flashing in front of his eyes. Shredder beating him, snapping his wrist. Hurting him. Laughing because of his pain.

He snapped his eyes open and looked into 2 other creatures. With every strength he had in his body and brought himself up and scrawled backwards. He didn't understand. Who were they? He shook his head in confusion. Jerking his wrist from the creature's grasp.

"g-go away" He rasped. His voice hoarse by the lack of use. The tallest creature walked over to him with a concerned look on his face.

"Mikey it's us, your brothers" The creature said and extended his hand towards Mikey. Why did he say that? He didn't have any brothers. The only thing he could remember was the cold room. The chains. Shredder. Who was Mikey? He flinched at the touch and squeezed his eyes shut. Waiting for the pain. He'd spoken. He dared to speak around these creatures. And now he had to pay.

But the pain didn't come. The tallest creature was rubbing his shoulder in comfort and cracked a small smile. Why wasn't there any pain? Didn't he want to hurt him? He didn't understand. He didn't understand where he was or who these creatures where. Why were they being so nice? They didn't hurt him, they didn't chain him.

"w-why?" He rasped, his body was shaking from the sudden movement. His head was pounding worse than ever and he felt the room spinning. He glanced towards the other creature before collapsing back on the bed, exhausted from moving. His limbs twitching in exhaustion. He glared for the last time at the tall creature and closed his eyes. Drifting of into a dark nightmare.

* * *

"w-why?" Mikey rasped, his voice full of confusion and hurt and collapsed back onto the bed. Donnie stared in awe. He didn't remember. There was absolutely no recognition in his voice. His eyes didn't show any emotion besides fear and confusion when he saw him. Why didn't he recognize them? Didn't say anything? Anything? How they messed up, how he hated them, or loved him. He didn't say anything about that. He was terrified and confused. Mikey…..

"Donnie, what just happened?" A raspy voice came from behind him. And when Donnie turned around he saw Raph staring at the exhausted form of his youngest brother. Tears flowing down his cheeks. Donnie swallowed hard, he couldn't answer it. He just kept on staring at Mikey. All the features of their little brother.

The light of the family. Their sunshine. Their glue. The innocent spirit. Always happy and making his brothers happy. The cute freckles under his eyes. His innocent baby blue eyes. The smallest of the four. Carefree.

No matter what happened, no matter how many times they fought. No matter how many times they were rejected by the world above. Training after training. Kick after punch. The constant threat of being captured. He always stayed positive.

And no matter what everyone did, he always forgave them. No matter what Karai did to them Mikey always said she had good in her, he knew it. No matter how many enemies they encountered he kept on saying 'maybe it wasn't their fault'. Always looking on the positive side of thing.

No matter how bad the situations were Mikey always tried to lighten their spirits. Forcing them to smile. Making them laugh. Cracking jokes and pranks. And now he was like this. Broken, afraid. Without any recognition.

This time it was Donnie who squeezed his eyes shut and let a tear escape from his eyes. From the first look in his eyes he knew what was going on, not why but he knew what. He didn't remember them anymore. He didn't recall any of them. Not father, not Leo, not Raph and not him. Maybe not even his own name.

Slowly Donnie turned around and faced the red banded turtle. "Get master Splinter and Leo" He whispered slowly. They had to know too. It was a wonder they didn't already storm in after all the noises. While Donnie at least knew what was going on, Raph didn't understand what just happened, he didn't understand why Mikey was so afraid and reacted like this.

He didn't understand why his baby brother was afraid of them. Afraid of a single touch. The noises around him, Donnie's lab. He didn't understand. And with tears still flowing he forced himself up and walked outside. And something told him something was terribly wrong. Raph wasn't surprised by the sight he met. A quiet and abandoned lair.

He passed it as quickly as he could, not able to bear the suffocating silence that hang in the air. Without Mikey it had been awfully quiet and he couldn't handle it. So he avoided it as much as he could, but he had to get Sensei and Leo. He wanted to know what was wrong with Mikey.

He slowly opened the door towards the dojo and looked around. As expected Leo and Splinter were meditating. Trying to make any connection with Mikey. Trying to help him in any way they could. But because of this they missed what happened in the lab. The terrified look of Mikey when he saw him, and Donnie.

Splinter was the first one to snap out of his trance and looked up to his second oldest son who stood in the opening. Crying. "My son, what is wrong?" he demanded and stood up. He knew all of his sons very well, and one thing about Raphael was, he rarely cried. He rarely did it when he was a child and when he grew older it was very rare to actually see him in tears.

And the last time he'd actually seen Raph so upset was 5 months ago. When he found out his youngest son had been taken. Never had he seen his son so upset. It wasn't just a mindless rage that was inflicted upon him, it was true despair. He kicked and punched everything in his way and cried. Cried like he'd never done before. Turning into a sobbing mess, crying over Michelangelo. And now he was crying again. Something bad must've happened.

"Mikey was awake. We need to talk" Raph sobbed and without waiting for the reaction of his father nor Leo, who snapped out of his trance just after Splinter's question, and walked away. Desperate to know what Donnie wanted to say about his youngest brother.

After a few minutes Splinter and Leo also joined Raph and Donnie in the lab. They immediately sensed the tension inside the lab and decided to sit down immediately and listen to what they had to tell them.

"Donatello, can you inform me what is going on? Raphael informed me Michelangelo has awoken and insisted we should talk, it sounded pretty urgent" Splinter said and looked from his youngest son to Donatello. Both Splinter and Leo noticed the different position in which Mikey was sleeping, indicating he was awake for a short time, but fell asleep afterwards. Or something like that. Donnie sighed and sat down too, holding Mikey's hand.

"Yes, he did wake up Sensei, the problem was….." He started and sighed once more and started to tremble slightly. "He doesn't know us anymore sensei" He could barely choke out before breaking down too.

Leo acted fast and rushed over to his second youngest brother and hugged him firmly. Allowing Donnie to cry in his shoulder. He trembled within the grip of Leo and cried like he'd never done before. Mikey didn't recognize them. He didn't remember anything. Sure he knew it was an option. It happened a lot by these victims but to actually happen.

He couldn't understand why. Why did it have to be Mikey? He was always good. Sweet and innocent. The only one who wouldn't even hurt a fly. The one who would feel guilty after hurting a purple dragon. Even if it meant he would save other people. Even if those would hurt someone else he would still feel guilty about hurting those creeps.

He'd never killed anyone. Not even when he had to fight for his life. He couldn't live with the idea he'd killed someone. Even hurting someone else would leave him with enormous guilt. He was always good to other people so why him, why Mikey?

"I can sense your distress my son. Can you tell me if there is any change of recovery?" Splinter said, his voice full of grief and slightly filled with anger. Anger towards his most hated enemy, the Shredder. The one who used to be his 'brother'. And had now taken his youngest son. Had broken him, tortured him.

"There is, but it is small Sensei. He was put through a lot these last 5 months" Donnie started. Running his fingers along Mikey's scarred body and looked up again. Meeting his father's eyes. "He must learn to trust again and….. needs to be remembered. Sometimes familiar things like objects and voices can trigger memories to return but i fear he's scarred too much and will never regain his memory"

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**So what do you think? Too fast, too slow? Bad, good? **

**Reviews are welcome, flames too but nothing too harsh or anything. **  
**Suggestions are welcome too ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up again I was still in the same and warm room and somehow I was grateful for that. Even though I knew this was a trick from Shredder. But it was nice. The soft mattress below me. The comfortable position of my shoulders, lying next to me instead of being above my head. My head wasn't throbbing but was resting on a soft pillow.

Sounds were around me but I shut them out and slowly breathed in. This wasn't the smell of the dungeon. But somewhere I could vaguely pick up the scent of sewer water, just like in my cell. There were soft voices on my right but I blocked them out. Wanting to enjoy the moment of peace as long as possible.

But soon enough my fingers began to twitch and my stomach began to rumble so I tested my luck by opening my eyes. Immediately the bright white room came into focus and I squeezed my eyes shut again.

"Raph turn off the light, it's too bright for him" A low voice ordered. But it wasn't really an order. Not like Shredder would give. After a few seconds I decided to try again and when I opened them it wasn't as bright as it was before so I could keep my eyes open. As I already felt I had a blanket on top of me and I was still in the same room.

And the same creatures were next to me. The one with the red mask and the other one with another color. I frowned slightly, I'd never seen this color before. Red I'd seen, a lot. Especially on my body but that color I'd never seen. Sure there was a color that was something like this, my bruises but they weren't as bright as this one.

The tallest one, with the strange color, walked over to me and carefully laid a hand on my shoulder. I immediately cringed and tensed up_. Keep away! Keep away please._ I pleaded in my head but I knew they weren't going to. They would beat me again. A dirty trick of Shredder. My eyes trailed along his arm until I saw his hand. It was almost the same color as mine. Maybe….

No, it was Shredder's work. He was playing games with me. He would let me think I was one of them and after that he would hurt me. Just like he always did. The green hand trailed along my shoulder and I flinched heavily and tried to hide myself in my shell but it didn't work. My body wouldn't cooperate.

"Don't hurt me" I squeaked and squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered. The hand left my shoulder and I dared to open my eyes again. I didn't get it, they didn't hurt me yet. No punch and no kick. They treated my wounds, did they? They did right?

"It's okay, we're not going to hurt you Mikey" He coed. I frowned again at the statement. Mikey, who was Mikey? Why did they keep calling me like that. I had no name. I was no one.

"Who's Mikey?" I squeaked and cowered again, I wasn't allowed to speak but I wanted to know so badly and these guys didn't hurt me yet.

"Yer Mikey. That's yer name" The creature with the red color said. Nervously I trailed towards him. He was shorter but he was more threatening.

"Y-You're wrong. I'm n-not Mikey" I stuttered and brought the blanket something up.

"Yes ya are. Yer our baby brother!" The red one growled and I squeaked again and hid my face completely in the blanket now. He was scary, threatening. And he snapped at me, that was exactly what the Shredder did when he beat me. I already felt the tears building up in my eyes but I bit my lip. I couldn't show any weakness but I couldn't help it. I didn't understand.

I didn't understand what was going on, why were they so nice to me? They weren't beating me. I didn't understand. I didn't know where I was, who those creatures were or what they were doing. And why.

"Raph!" The tallest creature snared but immediately lowered his voice again. "I think you can better get out" He whispered and turned over to me again. Behind his mask I could clearly see his brown eyes. They weren't like the Shredder, filled with hatred but actually caring. No, he was playing tricks with me. He wanted me to believe this and then he would strike. Just do it already, please. Just beat me, I just want to go back where things make sense.

"Don't worry, Raph won't hurt you. He's just frustrated you can't remember" The tallest figure spoke and sat down on the chair next to him. I stiffened a bit. He was going to hit me. Any minute now. But it didn't came, he was staring at me. Waiting for me. Was I supposed to say something? Was he allowing me to? I bit back a single tear.

"Remember what?" I practically whispered and watched the tall creature carefully. I knew it was a trick, I really knew it was but I couldn't help myself but to see similarities. He had the same green skin, slightly different but still. He had the same plastron and probably the same shell as me. Not that I've ever seen my own shell, only felt it and the outer parts of it.

But his skin wasn't scarred as mine, sure there were a few bruises and cuts but not as much as mine. I barely saw my own face but from what I recalled I looked something like that. But his front tooth was missing. And instead of having nothing on my face he had this weird colored mask around his eyes. And different gear around him.

"That you're our little brother. You were taken 5 months ago by the Shredder." The creature spoke. Their little brother. This couldn't be real. I couldn't have brothers, could I?

"I don't understand" I whispered confused. Why was he even trying to talk me into this? Why couldn't Shredder just beat me now? Just do it Shredder I'm sick of this. Just leave me alone as always, but the creature stayed. And didn't touch me, not a single touch ever since that other creature left.

"You are our little brother. Your name is Hamato Michelangelo." He insisted and looked hopefully towards me. Was he speaking the truth? He wasn't hitting me, maybe… just maybe he did speak the truth.

"I don't have a name" I spoke in a soft tone and glanced over to him to see his reaction.

"Yes you have. Your name is Hamato Michelangelo but we often call you Mikey. Except for our father" The creature explained. I slowly lowered my blanket and stared in his brown eyes. There was something…. Something familiar about him. All this time I vowed not to trust anyone, not words nor actions. I bit my lip. I learned not to trust anyone but maybe…. He was speaking the truth.

_Our father. _Did I have a father? I always knew I had to have one but I thought he wasn't here anymore. That he was dead or something. Why would I be stuck with the Shredder otherwise? I glanced down at the blanket. Under which my scarred body was lying. A father would never hit his child right?

"Mikey" I whispered the name, thinking he wouldn't hear it but he did so I glanced at him again. Mikey. I actually liked it. No no no, I couldn't. This was a trick after all. He was lying. He had to be. But his eyes…. They were full of grief. _Don't listen to him, he's lying. _I knew he was but he seemed so… honest. Why would he lie about a name and a father?

"Would you like to know my name?" The creature asked hesitantly. Or this guy was telling the truth or he was an incredible actor. I nodded. Being eager to know his name. "I'm Donatello your older brother but you often call me Donnie. The one with the red mask was Raphael and there is another one with a blue mask and that is Leonardo"

I frowned again. I had 3 brothers? 3 brothers who were exactly like me? I glared at Donnie again.

"Come on Mikey, you must be hungry." Donnie asked in a kind voice.

"I can…. Eat?" I squeaked. Shredder never mentioned food around me. He just served it, and forced me to eat as an animal. My stomach was rumbling but that's how it has been for as long as I could remember.

"Yes you can, we can go to the kitchen if you want. I bet you want to get out of here?" Donnie offered and signed towards the room. It was true, I wanted to go out of the room. It felt warm and nice but the machines were creeping me out. And I was hungry.

"Is the red one there?" I whispered and pushed myself up slightly.

"Raph. And it depends, do you want him to be?" He spoke in a cooing voice and glanced over to me. I frankly shook my head. I didn't want so many people around. And I didn't know if I could trust them, I didn't even trust Donnie. But somehow he made me feel safe. I couldn't really explain it.

* * *

**Nobody's POV. **

"I'll be right back" Donnie said in a low voice and stood up, leaving the confused turtle behind him. Donnie knew he had to be careful with him. He first had to win his trust. And he understood he didn't want Raph to be in here, or anyone else. When he left the lab he was immediately confronted with 3 faces.

"How's Mikey?" Leo asked curiously and scanned Donnie's body language. Donnie shrugged lightly and looked into Leo's eyes.

"Physically healing nicely but he can't remember anything. I will bring him over to the kitchen in a minute but I think it is better to leave us alone." Donnie explained and glanced over the three faces. Raph growled and stood up.

"Why tha hell ain't we allowed to see him?" He growled and punched the wall hard.

"He doesn't trust us Raph, he has been stuck with the Shredder for 5 months, he is afraid. Especially after your outburst towards him" Donnie sighed.

"And what about Sensei? And me?" Leo asked in a low voice and glanced over to his smartest brother.

"I don't think he should see sensei yet, he'll freak out seeing a giant humanoid rat, no offense. but I think he can see you, I just have to ask him so he won't freak out." Donnie said. Raph growled again, clearly annoyed that he wasn't able to see his youngest brother and Leo and Donnie were. He twirled his sais and stormed towards the dojo.

"I'll speak with Raphael. Good luck my sons" Splinter stated and walked over to the dojo too. Leaving Donnie and Leo alone in the living room. Leo nodded assuring towards Donnie and walked away too. Allowing Donnie to bring Mikey in. Donnie took a deep breath and turned around and walked back into the lab again. Where Mikey was still lying on his bed. Staring at the ceiling. A confused look on his face.

As soon as Donnie entered Mikey jolted up slightly and looked around in extreme fear but relaxed slightly when he saw it was Donnie. Donnie walked over to Mikey, making sure he walked slowly not to scare him and stopped next to him.

"There is no one in the kitchen, do you want to go?" Donnie asked, making sure Mikey was comfortable with going into the kitchen. But again, he was scared. Confused and he couldn't remember anything. The only thing he knew was being beaten by the Shredder, and the lab. His eyes twitched slightly and a mixture of fear and confusion flashed over his eyes but he nodded slightly. Clearly scared.

Donnie nodded and smiled, just like Leo did moments before, and slowly reached Mikey's blanket. Who tensed slightly but allowed Donnie to remove the blanket. Mikey trailed his eyes along his scarred body and he slowly started to tear up. His whole body was covered with dark bruises and bandages. He wiped away his tears with his hand. He knew what was under every bandage. Every bruise, every cut.

He could tell him every injury that was on his body. And each with the same cause, the Shredder. Donnie reached over to Mikey to help him out of the bed but Mikey tensed immediately and started to back.

"D-Don't touch m-me. P-please" He pleaded and stared towards Donnie with the same extreme fear when Donnie entered. Tears were now rolling down his cheeks and his breath came out in small hiccups.

"I'm sorry" Donnie quickly said and placed them next to his side. Mikey rolled up into a ball, shell towards Donnie and was rocking back and forth. Crying. Donnie's heart broke at the sight of his little brother. He was so scared, truly scared. And crying. Something Donnie and neither of his brothers wanted to see was Mikey crying.

"Just hit me already Donnie. Just do it I'm tired of this. I don't understand it. Just… hit me and leave me" He hiccupped. He looked so vulnerable. So young and scared. And he was. He was still their baby brother. Although they were all 15. And he was scared. Terrified. Even Donnie's touch freaked him out.

"Listen Mikey. You don't have to be afraid" Donnie cooed and placed a hand on his shuddering shoulder, this time Mikey allowed it and relaxed slightly. "I won't hurt you. We are your brothers we would never hurt you, we love you bro."

Mikey quickly glanced towards him. His baby blue eyes were still full of tears. "You're not?" He squeaked and Donnie nodded.

"I will never hurt you. And I'll protect you from anyone who would. I promise." Donnie assured him and brought his arm up, getting ready to help Mikey. "You trust me?" Mikey bit his lip slightly and shuddered again but nodded. The warm hand was placed on his shell and carefully he was pushed into a sitting position. Donnie quickly looked over to Mikey before helping his legs over the edge of the bed and throwing Mikey's arm around his own shoulder and supporting him towards the kitchen.

Mikey looked around in fear and amazement. His eyes scanned every corner of the large living room but at the same time he was amazed by the sight of it. It was so big and there was a large square couch and a television. But most importantly no chains, no knives and no Shredder. His legs were burning like shell upon the movement but he kept going.

The only change he got to walk in 5 months and he was going to take it, no matter what. They walked around the square in the middle where the couch and the television were located and walked past some water. Sewer water Mikey noticed but it wasn't as dirty as normal. On the left was an open door and Donnie led him inside.

In the room was a table with chairs around it and Donnie gently helped Mikey onto one of the chairs and handed Mikey a blanket. Mikey stared at it for a while. He didn't even notice Donnie was carrying one but he was grateful he did and with some sore movements he wrapped it around his body. Feeling a bit more safe.

His eyes followed Donnie's movement everywhere. Waiting for the moment he would strike. The Shredder would strike. Hit him, kick him. Break his bones again. But it didn't come. The only thing that did was a plate with a triangular form on it. He slowly poked it and stared at it. There was some sort of red sauce on it.

_I'll try it_

Mikey froze at the voice. It seemed so… him. Why was he saying that? He didn't remember. He cringed again which earned a shocked expression from Donnie but chuckled when he saw Mikey watching the pizza.

"It's pizza Mikey, your favorite food" Donnie said and pointed at the triangular form on his plate.

"I can have all of this?" Mikey asked shocked. It was way more than he was usually given and stared in disbelieve towards his plate. He couldn't be serious right? This had to be a trick. No he was going to take it all away from him when he started to eat it.

"Yes and you can have more if you want" Donnie said and showed Mikey the rest of the pizza box, on which 7 pieces were lying. Mikey's eyes trailed from the box towards his plate and carefully picked it up and glanced over to Donnie. He wasn't next to him. Pushing his face into the plate. He wasn't forcing him to eat like an animal.

But Mikey was watching. Waiting for someone to hit him, push him, kick him. But Donnie made no move. And was heartbroken when he saw Mikey's face when he was constantly checking his surroundings while eating. Like an animal. When he finished the pizza Donnie offered him another one and he nodded.

"Mikey" Donnie started and sat down on the chair. "I know you don't want to see Raph yet but would you like to see Leo?" Donnie asked. Mikey caught his glance and lowered the pizza but kept it in his hands. So no one was able to take it out of his hands.

"I guess so" He whispered and twitched nervously. This could be a trick. Shredder could come in right now. But no Donnie didn't hurt him yet, didn't lie to him. Gave him food, warmth. But maybe that was what the Shredder wanted. Mikey tensed when he felt someone else entering the room and he held his breath in fear. He jerked his head to the door to see another creature just like him in the opening. This one was wearing a blue mask, this must be Leonardo. Leo stood there, twitching slightly like he was nervous and looked up, slowly grinning.

"Hello Michelangelo" He said.

_"Hello Michelangelo" The dark voice echoed through the cell. Mikey whimpered when he glared towards the source of the voice. The shredder. He was just in time to catch his scarred eyes before he was punched right in his wounded shoulder. _

Mikey whimpered and tensed. His eyes filled itself with fear and he looked at Leo's eyes. "No, get away!" He screamed and buried his face in his hands, crying. He was going to hit him. Kick him. Break his bones again. His hands trailed to his shoulder, the thick bruise was still there and he sobbed heavily. He was going to kick any minute now but the only thing he sensed was Donnie approaching him.

"Mikey" He sighed and rested a hand on his shoulder. Mikey jumped up and knocked down his chair in the process and cringed when he put pressure on his leg but bit the pain away. He forcefully jerked the hand from his shoulder. Tears in his eyes.

"Keep away from me!"

* * *

**Sorry it took me a bit longer than usual but school is coming up again :( and i was kinda struggling on how i was going to write this chapter. **

**If you read al my other fics you can tell i prefer to write in the third person but with this one i actually wanted to write Mikey's thoughts so i was debating a bit on that part. **

**Hope you liked it though ^^**

**Review please :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay Okay It has been way too long but I really couldn't find anything to write about and I'm sorry. **

**And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one but when I read old fanfics and it just stops without an ending but just with a chapter that says: see you next chapter. And then this one isn't there even after 5 years? Well I can tell it sucks when the story is really good or catchy. (Not pepping my own story … but you get the point) **

**So I decided to end this one after all instead of just leaving it. The story was originally supposed to be a one-shot and I had already thought of the ending so I wanted to type that out anyways. And I'm sorry if it's a bit rushed. **

**And i'm sorry if anyone wanted to read the whole story but I just didn't know what to write. (Of course I had some ideas but I just couldn't write whole chapters about it with the whole memory loss etc.) **

It had been 3 weeks now. Wounds healed and Mikey was finally able to walk around the lair himself. And even though he could, he didn't. He was scared the whole time and he kept himself locked in the room. Thinking and reading his old comic books. He really wanted to remember but he couldn't. And every time he wanted to remember his brothers he only saw Shredder's face.

Beaten him, hurting him, humiliating him. He just wanted to remember. He wanted the old Mikey back. His brothers had told him so many stories about who he was. He was innocent, careless, a jokester. He wanted to be him again. He wanted nothing more than to play around again. Spar with his brothers again, prank them again.

But somehow he couldn't remember anything. Instead he would lock himself up all day. Reading old diaries and comics, trying to remember who he was. Splinter suggested he would maybe remember who he was once he was confronted with the stuff from the past. Everything was stalled out in his room. His old mask, his nun chucks, old pictures but nothing helped.

He touched them so many times, looked at them, tried to remember something but he couldn't. The only thing that came up was the Shredder.

"Mikey?" A turtle with a purple bandana peeked around the door. Mikey frowned in frustration. How much he wanted to remember, every time he would forgot their names. Every day they would tell him again but he kept forgetting. Just like the rest of his past.

"it's me. Do you need anything?" He smiled slightly. The door opened something more and the purple one walked inside the room, slowly walking towards the bed where Mikey was laying on.

"I'm good" Mikey whispered and avoided the turtle's gaze. He didn't want to face it when he didn't know his name but he couldn't bare himself to ask. He wasn't allowed to ask any questions back with the Shredder.

They treated him nicely. He could have as many food as he wanted to, he could walk around freely, even though he didn't. Nobody hurt him or forced him to do something. He had a soft and warm bed. He could take showers whenever he wanted. But the most important thing, he had three amazing brothers who would comfort him.

There was one with the blue mask, he was the oldest as far as he could remember. He was the one with those 2 swords. There was a special name for it but he couldn't remember. He was sure it was told once but he didn't remember it any more.

The other one was one with a red mask. He was more angry. Much like the Shredder but unlike him the red masked would never hit him. How angry he would get he had never hit him. One time Mikey had felt in the living room and only the red masked one was around. He had badly scraped his knee because he strained himself too much.

He wasn't angry anymore and he had even helped him.

Then there was a purple masked one. He was the one who would check on him most of the time. Changing his bandages where necessary, bringing him food and telling stories about their past. He would always truly relax when he would tell the stories. But he would always end up crying because he felt so frustrated he couldn't remember.

"I'm going to take a look at your burn wounds, is that okay?" The purple turtle whispered almost soothingly and Mikey slowly nodded. Every touch would bring up memories again but he knew it had to be done so he allowed it. He flinched when Donnie touched the bandage around his wrist and slowly began to unwrap it.

"They are healing quite nicely but I have to cool it something more okay?" He asked again and again Mikey nodded. As if prepared the purple one showed him a cream specially designed for burn wounds. He slowly unscrewed the cap of the cream and applied it gently on the burn marks on his feet. Mikey hissed with every touch but kept silent apart from that.

"All done" The turtle whispered and gently rewrapped his legs.

"Can you… help me to the bathroom? I really have to go" Mikey whispered quietly and frowned again. He wanted to know the name so badly but he couldn't remember anything apart from the purple mask.

"Sure" The turtle said and gently lifted Mikey up. He stubbornly helped himself onto his feet and avoided the turtle's gaze. "I can carry you, you know?" The turtle offered but Mikey shrugged it off. He didn't want him carrying him. It scared him to have no control over himself. He could just drop him, or hurt him and there was nothing he could do.

Instead he used the turtle to lean onto and they walked outside the room. The purple one led him towards the stairs and he slowly helped him with taking the first step. Mikey growled slightly. They were going so slow. He hated this. He hated that the turtle had to help him so much. The purple one helped him with another step.

Mikey shrugged slightly and took the next step too soon, without the turtle's help. He yelped slightly when he felt his foot slip and he fell.

_My son_

_Mikey_

_Michelangelo_

_Mikey_

_Everything was spinning around him and he hissed slightly. He forced his eyes to open and he slowly got to his feet. The purple turtle wasn't with him anymore. Neither was the rest of the family. He frowned slightly. He could've sworn he heard them. _

_"Can't catch me!" A voice exclaimed. A shiver went through Michelangelo's spine. It sounded so familiar. So… him. And when he looked around he saw 4 turtles. The blue one, the red one, the purple one and one with an orange one. _

_They were young, probably like 6 or 7 and it took him a few minutes to realize it was him, with his brothers. Before he was captured most likely. He unintentionally took a step towards the playing children. The three were running behind him and it looked like they wanted to catch him. However he was having fun. He was jumping and running. Laughing every time he would avoid one of his brothers. _

_"Mikey get yer shell over here" The angry one shouted but couldn't help himself and grinned watching his younger brother. _

_"How can… he.. be… so …fast" The blue one breathed out and stood there panting while Mikey was still running around the living room. _

_"I have… no idea" The purple one huffed, having a slightly better stamina than his 2 other brothers. _

_"I'm still waiting" Mikey laughed above them. With a big smile he waved to them, not noticing that the red one was approaching him. Michelangelo himself screamed but none of the small ones seemed to hear it and then the little red one jumped towards little Mikey. He landed on top of Mikey with a thud. _

_"Gotcha" He smirked. _

_"No you don't" He laughed and simply slipped under the turtle and jumped down and landed with a swift movement. He shrieked when the purple and the blue turtle came charging in on him and he jumped away. And while in the air Michelangelo could already see he wasn't going to end well. He landed hard on his knees and he fell to the ground. _

_"Mikey!" the blue one exclaimed and they all rushed over to the little Mikey who was crying and holding his knee. A tiny bit of blood was streaming down his knee. _

_"Boo boo hurts" Mikey cried out in response and wiped away the little blood that was streaming down his knee. _

_"I'm so sorry Mikey" The red one actually cried and hugged the little Mikey firmly. The purple one walked over to Mikey and looked at his knee. The small scrape was already dried and Donnie carefully kissed the knee. _

_"Boo boo doesn't hurt anymore?" He asked and looked towards Mikey. Mikey shook his head and smiled lightly. _

_"Thank you!" Mikey cheered and pulled the purple and the blue one in the hug too. _

_My son_

_Mikey_

_Michelangelo_

_Mikey_

_Thank you. _

He smiled slightly and opened his eyes. The concerned faces of his family hovering over him. His head was throbbing slightly but he just focused on the brown eyes in front of him. He was 15 again, they were 15 again. His father was watching him. One was holding his hand, One was hugging him. One was patting his head.

Mikey breathed out and trailed from each face towards the brown eyes again. He frowned slightly.

"Donnie?" He asked with a small voice. Donnie, Donatello. Raph, Raphael, Leo, Leonardo. Master Splinter. He smiled and watched the surprised looks on their faces.

"What is it Mikey?" Donnie inquired and crept something closer to Mikey. Leo's eyes flashed with intense worry and Raph quickly dried his own tears.

Mikey's smile slowly turned into a frown and then back into a smile again. "I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore"

**~ The end~ **

He can remember again :D I know it's a bit rushed but I wanted to end this so I wouldn't leave you with nothing :/

Hope it's good though ^^

And I hope the dream/flashback wasn't confusing. Michelangelo was the old one (15) And Mikey was the young one (6/7)


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